Cold.

I hate being sick.

I wouldn't mind staying home if I didn't just lay around all day.

I wouldn't mind taking time off if that I meant I got paid for it.

I wouldn't mind playing hooky if it meant Jeff was there.

But here I am, at home, unpaid and lonely. I've read the books I want to read until it got too dark in our living room sans light. I watched the movies I hadn't seen (note to self - it's ok that you wanted to see what the buzz was about. You just didn't like There Will Be Blood. Get over it) I watched Maury and Oprah and Jeopardy. I don't feel any better.

I start to think about school. How much would I love to quit working and go back full time. But I'd have to give up my car and learn the fantastic public transit system we have. I'm afraid.

I think about the money I'm not making at this particular moment. My checks are small enough.

I don't feel any better. In bed that night, pressure on my right side subsides as I flip over and it starts in on my left side. My nose is running, I'm sure of it. If I could only fall asleep, my headache would quit. If only my headache would quit I could fall asleep.

I'm so getting expensive espresso tomorrow. That will cure it.

Wedding Planning and such....

Jeff and my competition. Back off Poison Waters.

Planning is not nearly as hard as I believed it would be.

I've found the most difficult part of planning is a tie between deciding what we wanted to do for the invitations and getting the sister in law in sync with our needs. She wanted something extravagant, I want something fun and laid back, I want my family and friends there, and I want veggie burgers. I want I want I want!!

One of the adorable flower girls.

But really, to me it all comes down to a commitment I made long ago, finalizing itself on paper. No amount of money could change that. This man has changed my life in so many ways and I cannot express how happy I've become. Work doesn't seem so horrible, money issues are working themselves out and I've lost my aggression at the wheel. Hooray!

Mr & Mrs Cheesy McCheeserson.

Goals.

I have a couple of things I would like to accomplish this year.

1) Lose some fat. I'm not overweight, but I have wide hips and a tummy on those hips that bothers me. Not the kind of tummy that inspired the phrase "muffin top" but I would like to have more definition in that area. With the lose fat idea, I would like to be able to cook more with a healthy approach. J and I have been going to the farmers market across the street but one of these days I would like to just pick up a veggie I've never cooked before and create a meal surrounding it. The people that are able to accomplish that amaze me.

2) Start and maintain a side job with my photography.

3) Finally start that promotion that was promised to me in December!

4) Improve my writing. I love to do it and I would like to pen the literary creations that makes other people take notice.

5) Pick up a new set of friends. Mine are too busy partying to spend a quiet Saturday drinking tea. I've been replaced by gin and cheap beer.

6) Help my baby to quit smoking. I don't know what I would do without him.