And Then We Came to the End.

I don't want to say I failed at MoFo this year.

I blogged plenty about delicious vegan food. I made it to 16 posts, or 4/5ths of the 20 post recommendation (please correct me if I have the math wrong. Me + numbers = disaster). I talked about MoFo and veganism to those in my daily life, especially at the new job. My coworkers are FASCINATED by what exactly I can eat, their only example being a girl who is on a raw vegan cleanse to lose a bunch of weight for a trip (and is pretty miserable).

On Halloween, I brought my coworkers cupcakes. Just the basic chocolate cupcakes and fluffy buttercream from VCTOTW, dyed green (I didn't have red to make orange!) and decorated with cute Halloween-y sprinkles. I brought in 12 and took home 2.

The response was overwhelmingly positive. The ladies kept telling me the cupcakes were delicious, and how in the world were they vegan?! I just smiled and said "oil and love."

I also dressed up this year as Luna Lovegood. My awesome friend Crystal channeled Bellatrix LeStrange.

 

Due to timing, I didn't get a tie. I also just realized my part is on the wrong side. And honestly, this is basically my costume from last year (zombie librarian) but without the zombie makeup.

I think next year I'll be something great, something that doesn't involve pulling clothes out of my closet and repurposing them for a costume.

Ok, on to some serious stuff.

Lately, I've been struggling a lot with my eating habits. It's not something that just appeared in my life, but rather a storm brewing just below the surface finally coming up to wreck the land.

One of the biggest issues is how much I'm eating. I don't want to say I'm binging, because I'm not sure that's what it is, but I've been eating really, really fast, continuing onto a second portion and eating that really fast. Late night trips for toast have also been exacerbating this problem. I've had alot of stomachaches as of late and I'm done. I've been trying to make less food to prevent it and slowing my intake down. I used to take FOREVER to eat a sandwich, now I just inhale my way through it. Not healthy. And those cupcakes I made? I took 12 to work, but had two at my house, before work, without even a thought as to "why am I eating these? Am I hungry?"

Another issue is how much bread I've been eating. I love bread. It's just so easy to have toast in the morning, a sandwich at lunch and a snack (or two) of toasted bread with PB. That's 5 pieces, easy, and I've definitely gone over that in a day. I've been attempting to limit my intake to two pieces a day and I believe it's helping. Please know this is not at attempt at low carb/low gluten intake or anything of the sort. I just don't think overdosing on bread helps anyone.

I think both of these issues of mine are being magnified by stress. I'm in school full time and working half time and I was just "promoted" to bookkeeper at my job. Darlings, I am excellent at AP, but since the old bookkeeper left in August this place is pure chaos. And I have no experience in half of what is being expected of me, so I'm struggling with growing pains.

Wish me luck! Tomorrow I plan on posting about a super special lunch I'm having today.

Day 19 & a little bit o' stress.

Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents.

Um, I didn't do it? Seriously. My dad wasn't around very much, but we were slightly frightened of him when he was. My mom was the "cool" mom, and I had no reason to disrespect her. This is also where I mention that I was a golden teenager, who did what she was told and hung out with the "good" crowd.

Tonight, something happened that should have been an easy fix. I was babysitting for my aunt, who has a 2 year old with an attitude. She managed to kick my phone down a flight of stairs and across the hardwood floor, which resulted in the screen going haywire and unusable. Now, the last time I replaced my phone, it was because I dropped it after a Tuesday at Tube 2 years ago. If you know why I mention that, you know why I dropped it.

I LOVED that phone. It was a Blackberry Pearl, and I had all sorts of lists and reminders and photos on there that are probably gone. I didn't have internet on it, so I didn't get the full range of awesome, but it was still pretty badass. My aunt graciously offered to replace the phone, which I rebutted. I mean, it was my fault, I left it in a place where it could get broken. She insisted, but I won't allow it.

I ordered a new phone off of T-Mobile and when I pushed submit, the page timed out and it didn't go through. No big deal, right? Try, try again? For some reason, I snapped and then I couldn't stop crying. All I could think about was how we really didn't have the money to replace something that was a stupid mistake on my part. Lately I've been obsessing over the funds we'll need for Europe (while we're there and when we get back) and I think this whole ordeal sent me over the edge. Somehow, we managed to get the damn phone ordered (not even as an upgrade, even though the blackberry was 2 years old. LAME). I'm selling my computer to my sister, which was earmarked for the trip but is now going to the phone, so the money is taken care of.

I just need to calm the fork down. I should also search a little harder for a job.