Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents.
Um, I didn't do it? Seriously. My dad wasn't around very much, but we were slightly frightened of him when he was. My mom was the "cool" mom, and I had no reason to disrespect her. This is also where I mention that I was a golden teenager, who did what she was told and hung out with the "good" crowd.
Tonight, something happened that should have been an easy fix. I was babysitting for my aunt, who has a 2 year old with an attitude. She managed to kick my phone down a flight of stairs and across the hardwood floor, which resulted in the screen going haywire and unusable. Now, the last time I replaced my phone, it was because I dropped it after a Tuesday at Tube 2 years ago. If you know why I mention that, you know why I dropped it.
I LOVED that phone. It was a Blackberry Pearl, and I had all sorts of lists and reminders and photos on there that are probably gone. I didn't have internet on it, so I didn't get the full range of awesome, but it was still pretty badass. My aunt graciously offered to replace the phone, which I rebutted. I mean, it was my fault, I left it in a place where it could get broken. She insisted, but I won't allow it.
I ordered a new phone off of T-Mobile and when I pushed submit, the page timed out and it didn't go through. No big deal, right? Try, try again? For some reason, I snapped and then I couldn't stop crying. All I could think about was how we really didn't have the money to replace something that was a stupid mistake on my part. Lately I've been obsessing over the funds we'll need for Europe (while we're there and when we get back) and I think this whole ordeal sent me over the edge. Somehow, we managed to get the damn phone ordered (not even as an upgrade, even though the blackberry was 2 years old. LAME). I'm selling my computer to my sister, which was earmarked for the trip but is now going to the phone, so the money is taken care of.
I just need to calm the fork down. I should also search a little harder for a job.
2 comments:
I definitely see you as the non-rebel. And disrespect most definitely doesn't suit the image I have of you either.
:(
More and more I realize how true "the straw that broke the camel's back" actually is. I'm the same way. I let things build up and build up (often without even knowing they are) until I just blow up one way or another. It's good to let it out, but (here's the advice I'm always given that I choose to always ignore) you should find some release and not let it build up so much. Do you talk to Jeff about how you feel about stuff like this? I know you've mentioned lack of funds here and there on this, but do you guys talk much about it? Sometimes you don't need to talk about solutions or why you have a lack of money, but just talking about how it's effecting you (though this can be a little bit of a downer) when it does, can be a bigger stress reliever than the one big burst. I've actually found this to be true to myself in a few situations when I started talking to people more about my day to day life and even in posting on here. There doesn't always have to be a solution right that second, but it is good to release the stress so that you can take your mind off of it, even if it is only temporarily.
As for the phone... :( Wish I had my old T-mobile phone I could give you just in case for emergencies. That's one thing I'm always paranoid about is my phone breaking or something. I literally use my phone o so often that I could see myself losing a bit o sleep over it's destruction. Lemme know if you need my number or anything.
Chin up, Steff! Just think of the amazing time you guys are going to have!
Thank you friend! I do talk with Jeff about it, but honestly there's only *so much* talking I can do before I feel like it's a vicious cycle.
As for the phone, well my aunt isn't taking no for an answer. So that's taken care of AND I get one that I've had my eye on. As for the meantime, I have a POS that barely texts and erases contacts!
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